Compassion

Courtesy: Complete Well-Being

 

When we experience physical pain, we reach out for painkillers. But when it comes to emotional pain, there seems to be no reliable way to find relief.

As a result, many turn to anti-depressants, alcohol and other self-destructive options.

The culprit behind all emotional pain is our own thought process. When we experience emotional pain, we tend to become entangled in self-defeating thoughts. Then, all we think about is our suffering, our pain.

We wallow in self-pity. Sure enough, we find ourselves in a quicksand of pessimism and hopelessness until the pain becomes unbearable.

I have discovered that there is an effective and safe remedy to relieve emotional pain without resorting to pills, or abusing substances. Best of all, this remedy is available to everyone for free. It’s called compassion.

The word compassion comes from the Latin compati meaning “to suffer together”. Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary defines compassion as “the sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it.” So, compassion shifts your focus from self to another. When we’re compassionate, we get involved in another’s pain and, in the process, our own sense of misery diminishes.

Thus, compassion works by making us forget our problems as we help others deal with theirs. If you’re in the middle of an emotional turmoil, turn on your compassionate side and notice the difference—it works wonders.

Compassion can be likened to a painkiller, except that physical painkillers offer temporary relief whereas compassion has long-term effects. Scientific research endorses the therapeutic power of compassion.

According to a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, those who demonstrated high levels of compassion for others were more receptive to social support, enabling them to better handle acute psychological stress and maintain overall wellbeing.

Although compassion is an inherent aspect of all human beings, in most people, it remains a dormant virtue. If you wish to activate or augment your compassionate side, try compassion meditation, which involves focusing on a loved one and wishing for that person to be relieved of pain and sorrow, and then extending this to strangers, adversaries, and even the entire sentient world.[1]

What makes compassion really worth the shot is that not only does it help alleviate our own pain but it also helps lessen another person’s agony. Two, for the price of one!

Is it OKAY to fall in love with the same Gender?

Sex has been called the original sin. It is neither original nor sin.

Sex is such a fundamental activity in nature that the ego of man started trying to get rid of it. The first thing I would like you to remember: sex is natural. There is no need to make any effort to get rid of it…although I know a moment comes when you transcend it that is something totally different. It is not by your effort that you can get rid of it; if you try to get rid of it you will fall a victim of perversions. Because for centuries man has been trying to get rid of sex, he has created many kinds of perversions. Homosexuality has arisen because we have deprived people of heterosexuality.

Homosexuality is quite normal in Humans

Homosexuality was born as a religious phenomenon in the monasteries because we forced monks to live together in one place and nuns to live in one place, and we separated them by great walls. Homosexuality is bound to happen. It happens only in monasteries and in the army, because these are the two places where we don’t allow men and women to mix. Or it happens in boys’ and girls’ hostels; there also we don’t allow them to mix. The whole phenomenon of homosexuality is a by-product of this whole stupid upbringing. Homosexuality will disappear from the world the day we allow men and women to meet naturally.

From their very childhood we start separating them. If a boy is playing with girls we condemn him. We say, “What are you doing? Are you a sissy? You are a boy, you are a man! Be a man, don’t play with girls!” If a boy is playing with dolls we immediately condemn him: “This is for girls.” If a girl is trying to climb a tree we stop her immediately: “This is not right; this is against feminine grace.” If a girl tries and persists and is rebellious she is called a tomboy; she is not respected.

It is perfectly OKAY to be Homosexual

Sex should be taken very naturally — we have been taking it very seriously. If you take it non-seriously, then there is no need to be worried even if you are attracted to women. Don’t be worried, because your worry is not going to help. It’s perfectly okay. Yes, once in a while you may love a woman or a man. Nothing is wrong in it, because inside you both are there.

Each man is both a man and a woman, and each woman is both a woman and a man, because you are born out of the meeting of one man and one woman. So half of ‘you’ comes from your father and half of ‘you’ comes from your mother; part of you is man and part of you is woman.

Do not be worried just because you are attracted towards the Same Gender

So, there is nothing much to be worried about. It may be that your man part is attracted towards other women, but because biologically you are a woman you feel afraid. No need to be afraid! Take things easily that is my basic approach. Take it easy. And by taking things easy one can go beyond them more comfortably, conveniently, quickly, than by taking things seriously. If you take them seriously you become entangled with them, you become burdened with them. And this is not such a big problem. There are bigger problems.

You are attracted to women: perfectly good. Go deep into relationship with women. If you make an anxiety out of it you will not be able to go deep in relationship with a woman. If you go deep in relationship with women, my understanding is that sooner or later you will find that this relationship cannot be very fulfilling, because two women are alike. And a relationship needs a certain tension to be fulfilling, a certain polarity to be fulfilling.

Two women in love, or two men in love, will have a good relationship, but it will not be very spicy.

It will be a little dull, monotonous, a little boring. But if you go deeply, only then will you become aware of these things. Your anxiety will not allow you to go deep, and then your whole life you will remain interested and attracted towards women. My approach about all problems is that if anything is there, go deeply into it, so either you find the treasure, if it has any treasure, or you find that it is empty. In both cases you are enriched. If you find the treasure, of course you are enriched. If you find it is empty, you are finished with it.

Go as deeply as possible in your relationships with women — don’t be worried. Soon you will see that there is a different kind of relationship that can exist only between polar opposites. Then go into a deep relationship with a man, because only by going deep in relationship with a man will you be able to know that all relationships fall short. Even the man/woman relationship falls short; it never brings you the contentment it promises.

Only through your own experience — not by what Buddha says, not by what I say…only through your own experience will you one day be able to go beyond all relationships. Then you can be happy alone. And the person who can be happy alone is really an individual. If your happiness depends on the other, you are a slave; you are not yet free, you are in bondage.

Being alone leads you to Meditativeness

When you are happy alone, when you can live with yourself, there is no intrinsic necessity to be in relationship. That does not mean that you will not relate. But to relate is one thing, and to be in relationship is quite another. Relationship is a kind of bondage, relating is sharing. You will relate with many people, you will share your joy with many people, but you will not depend on anyone in particular and you will not allow anybody else to depend on you. Then you live out of freedom, out of joy, out of love. Then that will lead you into meditativeness, into solitude, into that beauty, that benediction, which happens only when you are alone.

The 10 Things You Should Remind Yourself Of Every Morning

WE ALL HAVE THOSE MORNINGS WHEN GROGGINESS AND YAWNS ARE NEVER-ENDING. WELL PEOPLE, WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE — LIFE REALLY IS NOT SO BAD. I TELL MYSELF TO START EVERY DAY WITH A SMILE, BECAUSE IT’S ANOTHER DAY I’M GRANTED TO LIVE.

It’s important to appreciate the mornings when time slaps you in the face — make that day today. For the motivation to carry on, check out the 10 things of which you should remind yourself each morning:

1. There is no better day than today.

Have you been waiting to tell someone something or do something yourself? Maybe you’ve been holding back from making a move, asking for a pay raise or pushing off that New Years resolution to diet? Stop. Today is a great day to do what you’ve been waiting to do. You just need a kick in the butt to get started — kick it yourself.

2. Tell yourself “Wow, I look good” before leaving the house.

But don’t be conceited about it. If you bum around every day, you’ll soon feel like a real bum. Wear those new heels or that new button-down. If you wear something that makes you feel great and confident, you’re likely to have a better day than if you only wear sweatpants. Confidence is key and people around you will respond to your positive vibes.

3. Don’t check social media until lunchtime.

Social media tends to be a source of many problems for people. Have you ever had a day when you do not check your phone and you’re left feeling so refreshed? Every morning should be like that. Start your day with the newspaper (yes, the real paper one, not the online version), a coffee, some breakfast and friendly small talk — you’ll just be happier, trust me.

4. Keep your mind open.

Don’t stress over the little things. Don’t stress about the spit your roommate left in the sink after brushing her teeth. Don’t stress over the 10 voicemails your mom sent you this morning. Most of all, don’t stress about the number of Oreos you ate last night. Wake up feeling refreshed, rejuvenated and stay collected.

5. Avoid your enemies.

You have no room in your schedule for negative energy today — or any day. So, wherever you are, stray to the other side of the sidewalk when you pass your enemies. If seeing them for a split second could change your mood, simply turn the other cheek.

6. Eat breakfast and love every damn minute of it.

I get mixed responses as to why some of my friends do not eat breakfast: “I had no time.” “I don’t like breakfast food.” “I forgot.” You forgot? Food is awesome — how can you forget? Whether it’s a granola bar, three eggs, bacon, sausage, pancakes or fruit, eat breakfast. You will have more energy and your brain will work better than it would with no food.

7. Smile at everyone with whom you may come in contact.

A smile can go a long way. If you see a stranger, smile at him or her — it may be the only smile the person sees that day. When I smile at people, it makes me feel happy, regardless of whether or not I get a smile in return.

8. Yesterday is in the past and today is a new day.

So yesterday you f*cked up at work or you yelled at your best friend or significant other and had a fight. Whatever the case may be, forget about it. Move on. Don’t ever dwell on your mistakes. You’re only human and sh*t happens. Start fresh today!

9. You are woman (or man), let’s hear you roar.

Be the best YOU that you can be today. Work extra hard, sing extra loudly to your favorite song and laugh as much as you can. Workout longer than usual and eat your favorite fast food for dinner as a reward. Each day can be a great day — it’s all in your hands.

10. Breathe

Whether you want to listen to “Just Breathe” by Anna Nalick or “Breathe” by Michelle Branch, just breathe; in through your nose and out through your mouth. When you first get up in the morning, don’t jump up, don’t grab your cell phone and don’t turn on the light. Sit up and breathe. Lay your hands in your lap and close your eyes. You need to get oxygen flowing to your brain so that you can function. As you breathe, remind yourself that today is a great day to be alive.