Saturday 24 May 2014

Compassion

helpingWhen we experience physical pain, we reach out for painkillers. But when it comes to emotional pain, there seems to be no reliable way to find relief.
As a result, many turn to anti-depressants, alcohol and other self-destructive options.
The culprit behind all emotional pain is our own thought process. When we experience emotional pain, we tend to become entangled in self-defeating thoughts. Then, all we think about is our suffering, our pain.
We wallow in self-pity. Sure enough, we find ourselves in a quicksand of pessimism and hopelessness until the pain becomes unbearable.
I have discovered that there is an effective and safe remedy to relieve emotional pain without resorting to pills, or abusing substances. Best of all, this remedy is available to everyone for free. It’s called compassion.
The word compassion comes from the Latin compati meaning “to suffer together”. Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary defines compassion as “the sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it.” So, compassion shifts your focus from self to another. When we’re compassionate, we get involved in another’s pain and, in the process, our own sense of misery diminishes.
Thus, compassion works by making us forget our problems as we help others deal with theirs. If you’re in the middle of an emotional turmoil, turn on your compassionate side and notice the difference—it works wonders.
Compassion can be likened to a painkiller, except that physical painkillers offer temporary relief whereas compassion has long-term effects. Scientific research endorses the therapeutic power of compassion.
According to a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, those who demonstrated high levels of compassion for others were more receptive to social support, enabling them to better handle acute psychological stress and maintain overall wellbeing.
Although compassion is an inherent aspect of all human beings, in most people, it remains a dormant virtue. If you wish to activate or augment your compassionate side, try compassion meditation, which involves focusing on a loved one and wishing for that person to be relieved of pain and sorrow, and then extending this to strangers, adversaries, and even the entire sentient world.[1]
What makes compassion really worth the shot is that not only does it help alleviate our own pain but it also helps lessen another person’s agony. Two, for the price of one!

Monday 19 May 2014

How should one define success?

Richness, wealth, treasure is there, and you have not claimed it yet – and, it is yours, just for the asking. You need not spread your hands anywhere before anybody. The treasure is hidden within your own heart.
People go on searching everywhere else except in the heart. They can go to the Moon and to Mars; and, that journey seems to be easy. Man seems somehow to be very stubborn about going into his own heart. May be, he is afraid that he may find it there!
Psychologists say that there is a very deep-rooted fear of success in the human mind. It looks absurd when you hear for the first time that man is afraid of success, but when you ponder over it, slowly, it dawns slowly on you that it has some deep relevance.
Man is afraid of success, because if he succeeds, then what? That is the fear: then what? So, in a subtle way he tries to succeed and yet creates such obstacles that he cannot succeed.
On one hand he tries to succeed; on the other hand; he disturbs his own success so the game can go on. Just think of a day when you have succeeded and all that you desired has been attained, all that you always longed for is in your hands. Then what? – that is the fear. Then, what will you do? – because, all doing is searching, all doing is desiring, all doing is possible, because there are goals which we have not attained yet. One is occupied, happily busy.

It’s deep-seated

Just think of it a moment and even in thinking you will start trembling inside: if all is fulfilled, then what? Would you like to succeed to that point? And, when you think about that you will see the point of what psychologists mean when they say there is a deep-rooted fear of success.
And, it does not happen only as far as inner success is concerned; it happens with outer success too. It almost always happens that when a person is at the last rung of succeeding, something goes wrong. And, he thinks something has gone wrong from the outside, no. He does something – he takes a wrong step, he moves in an opposite direction. He blames God and he blames fate and he blames society and others, but if you search deep down you will find that people fail only when they were just going to succeed.
There seems to be that deep fear which, at the last moment, says to them, “What are you doing? Avoid it.” It is very unconscious. They fail, and then they are busy again. That’s how people keep themselves busy; life-in and life-out they keep themselves busy. This is called the wheel, the samsara, in the East; this is the world. That’s why people don’t go into the heart, which is the closest point to go to. They go on great journeys and pilgrimages, but they don’t search within.

It is a condition

Success is a by-product; one need not think about it. And, if you think about it, you will not get it — that is a condition. Don’t think about success, because if you start thinking about success you become divided. Then, you are not totally in the work; your real mind is in the future: “How to succeed?” You have already started dreaming how you will be when you have succeeded, how you will be when you have become a Buddha – what beauties, what benedictions, what blessings will be yours. Your mind has started playing the game of greed, ambition, ego. Never think of success. Success is a natural by-product.
If you work really sincerely upon yourself, success will follow you just as your shadow follows you. Success has not to be the goal. That’s why Lu-tsu says, “Work quietly, silently, untroubled by any idea of success or failure.”
And, remember, if you think too much of success you will constantly be thinking of failure too. They come together, they come in one package. Success and failure cannot be divided from each other. If you think of success, somewhere deep down there will be a fear also. Who knows whether you are going to make it or not? You may fail. Success takes you into the future, gives you a greed game, an ego projection, ambition, and the fear also gives you a shaking, a trembling – you may fail. The possibility of failure makes you waver. And, with this wavering, with this greed, with this ambition, your work will not be quiet. Your work will become a turmoil; you will be working here and looking there. You will be walking on this road and looking somewhere far away in the sky.

Starry slip

I have heard about a Greek astrologer who was studying stars, and one night, a very starry night, he fell into a well. Because, he was watching the stars and moving about – and, he was so concerned with the stars that he forgot where he was – he moved closer and closer to a well and fell into it.
Some woman, an old woman, who used to live nearby, rushed up, hearing the sound. She looked inside the well, brought a rope, and pulled the great astrologer out. The astrologer was very thankful.
He said to the old woman, “You don’t know me but I am the royal astrologer, specially appointed by the king. My fee is very large – only very rich people can afford to enquire about their future. But, you have saved my life. You can come tomorrow to me and I will show you: I will read your hand, I will look into your birth-chart and I will interpret your stars, and your whole future will be plainly clear to you.”
The old woman started laughing. She said, “Forget all about it. You cannot see even one step ahead, that there is a well, how can you predict my future? All bullshit!”
Don’t look ahead too much; otherwise, you will miss the immediate step. Success comes, Lu-tsu says, of its own accord. Leave it to itself. This existence is a very rewarding existence, nothing goes unrewarded.

Peace of Mind: The Truth beyond Success and Failure

It does not matter to a man of awareness whether he is successful or unsuccessful, well-known or absolutely unknown, powerful or just a nobody. To a man of awareness, these dualities don’t matter at all, because awareness is the greatest treasure. When you have it, you don’t want anything else. You don’t want to become the president or prime minister of a country.
Those who pursue power suffer even in success – they live in the eternal fear that they might lose it. At first they suffered because they were not successful; now after being successful, too, they are suffering because of a feeling of insecurity. Moreover, they have no private space; everyone wants to meet with them and there are some who are engaged in the task of “overthrowing” them. The life of a successful man is not a life of peace. But in failure, too, there is no peace. For an aware person, it is all the same. Success comes and goes, and so does failure. He remains untouched and aloof.